Indecisiveness .

I absolutely hate how indecisive I am. It's my most major weakness - I cannot decide anything, especially little insignificant things that don't even matter. For example, I spent half an hour staring at the jewellery shelves in New Look yesterday, going back and forth in case I had missed anything. In the end I didn't even get anything, but I felt like I was missing out on something in not checking again before I left the shop. I'm seriously demented. Sometimes I wonder whether it's a mixture of OCD and indecisiveness.
The shop-workers in the shop just stared at me like I was some sort of moron, which I am.

This morning I came down wearing a coral pink dress, with my taupey-grey coloured Lady Gaga t-shirt over the top, and black tights. Mum instantly says - 'that really doesn't go', and even though I believe it does go and looks quite funky, I now have the most overpowering urge to go upstairs and change my outfit.

I seek approval constantly - when I'm clothes shopping, I always think 'Would Mum like me in this? What would she say?' - when it doesn't even matter - even when I'm at Uni, and miles away from home, I'm still burdened by the thought of what my mother would think. It's not right. Even when it's something as simple as buying sweets 'What would Mum buy?'. I think it's a form of insecurity. It's frustrating as hell. Because when we are out shopping and I pick something up she'll go 'Oh that's nice' when I know she doesn't really like it. So even though I feel bad because Mum doesn't like it - I'll buy it anyway. Then I'll put it on when we get home and Mum will say 'That looks so much nicer on! I would have never have thought that top was worth buying, but it's actually really lovely, isn't it?'.
So basically - my mother has NO eye when it comes to clothes, and she judges things on how they look in shops which in many ways I judge her for, but then I take her opinion SO seriously on what I wear - it completely doesn't make any sense does it? Especially when her sense of style is so questionable.

Anyway, I best get writing up notes for this essay, all the while wondering whether I should go get changed.